


An Ember By Any Other Name Would Burn as Bright

by GreenFire66



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mild Language, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, spoilers episode 49
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-13
Updated: 2019-02-13
Packaged: 2019-10-27 05:02:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17760260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GreenFire66/pseuds/GreenFire66
Summary: 'Fjord never put too much stock into it. A name was a name, and he didn’t let the name on his wrist stop him from being attracted to anyone whose name wasn't Bren. Perhaps Bren would simply refer to a nickname, after all.But Caleb… Caleb’s name was Bren. '





	An Ember By Any Other Name Would Burn as Bright

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thehonorlord](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thehonorlord/gifts).



> First off; I'd like to thank "thehonorlord" [silkquake on twitter] for the amazing prompt ideas! I used their Valentine's prompt (as well as a post by @smoreyellow which I will link) to produce this Valentine's fic. Hope you all enjoy!
> 
> [AU inspiration by Hoples: https://twitter.com/smoreyellow/status/1090480687314956288]

“My name was Bren Aldric Ermendrud.”

Bren. Bren. Bren.

From the moment he heard it, that name cascaded through Fjord’s mind. Its syllables echoed and rippled like pebbles dropped into an endless pond. The waves were expansive, and each pronunciation of the name crashed over him, drowning him in the sense of disbelief.

He rotated his arm to stare at the bracer, and reflect on what lay underneath.

_ Bren _ , that was the name etched onto his skin from the moment he was born. Everyone had a name on their wrist, the name of their fated partner, their soulmate, as some called it. Some chose to display theirs openly, while others kept it hidden in an attempt to go about life more naturally. 

Fjord never put too much stock into it. A name was a name, and he didn’t let the name on his wrist stop him from being attracted to anyone whose name wasn't Bren. Perhaps Bren would simply refer to a nickname, after all.

But Caleb… Caleb’s name was Bren. 

Fjord had to force himself to listen to the rest of Caleb’s tale, the tragedy of his life at Soltryce Academy, the abuse he suffered under Trent.

They put crystals  **in** his arms?

Caleb unwrapped one of the bandages, at Jester’s concern for how they healed, and Fjord tried not to stare at the wrist as Caleb unraveled them.

The spot where a name would normally rest was utterly destroyed, and Fjord's heart broke at the crudely made surgical markings that took its place. Jester looked on the verge of tears, going on about infection and how she wanted to “rip the stupid heads off” of those responsible.

Fjord would rather they suffer first, but that wasn’t an opinion to be voiced aloud, he decided.

Fjord… had to say something, right? He couldn’t deny the dance of emotions going on between he and Caleb throughout the past couple of months. Fjord had been meaning to talk to Caleb ever since the blood pact at Dashila’s altar, but they just haven’t had the time.

There was a tugging sensation in Fjord's gut, pulling him to Caleb. It took only one hard look at Caleb, who was clearly shirking away from the attention that his past was drawing him, for Fjord to make his decision. Caleb’s eyes were cast downward, and he was responding to questions with a shaking head and monosyllabic answers. The poor guy was understandably overwhelmed. 

Fjord had waited 30-some years to find Bren. He could wait a little longer before he confronted Caleb about it.

 

~

 

“Hey,”

The one word ripped Fjord out of his headspace. Everything that had blurred and become unfocused: the table, the food, the friends seated next to him, all at once recentered sharp and clear. The aroma of the stew’s herbs kicked his senses alert, and he tried not to let the glances of his companions get to him.

“Shit’s getting cold,” Beau finished with a shrug before turning back to her own meal. Jester made some comment, and Beau leaned forward in protest of whatever it was Jester had said.

Fjord nodded mutely as he took a spoonful of the stew.  _ “My name was Veth,”  _ Nott’s voice flooded his mind.

Drowned. She was drowned. They drowned her. No fuckin’ wonder she was so apprehensive to go on a ship. And yet she stayed. She helped Fjord on his multi-month quest across and into the ocean.

He owed her a drink. Several drinks. Maybe he could upgrade her flask.

And there was also Caleb. A direct connection to Solstryce Academy? Caleb being selected out of his peers as a student of extraordinary talents didn’t surprise Fjord, but.

His teacher tortured and abused him? Crystals in his skin? He was on the run from his mentor and peers? He was sure the relationship dynamics weren’t identical, but Fjord couldn’t imagine what he’d be going through if Vandren had done half the shit that Caleb was saying Trent did.

Trent. The name alone grit his teeth together, and he forced himself to loosen his jaw with another spoonful of stew. 

“Maybe you could pass Fjord the salt, Mr. Caleb? It might make the stew more palatable.” 

Caleb’s past. He was from Rexxentrum? Was he concerned about his family being involved in the war? Fjord had never gotten the chance to ask him, but, were the Widogasts… No, the Ermendruds, if Fjord recalled. Was the Ermendrud family safe? Shouldn’t they check? Surely-

“Fjord.” The Zemian-ladened voice pierced Fjord’s thoughts, and his vision shot up to meet the crystal blue gaze. A grin joined those irises.

Those beautiful irises, a calming blue that reminded Fjord of the ocean.

“Oh. Sure. Thanks, Bren,” Fjord’s gaze loosened once more as his brain returned to every detail he was told. 

A loud  **thud** echoed from beneath the table, and Fjord’s eyes widened as he fully realized what just happened. His gaze hung on to the lack of the pint in Caleb's hands before daring to meet at eye level.

“I- Shit, fuck. Caleb, I’m. I’m sorry. I didn’t-”

“It’s fine,” Caleb replied, void of emotion. The look in his eyes reminded Fjord of Avantika’s ship, wreathed in flames, and Fjord powerless to pull Caleb out of his senses. Caleb stood, shaking his head slightly. “I just. I need some fresh air. I’ll be right outside.”

By the time Caleb exited the tavern, Fjord’s head was cusped in his hands. He didn’t have to look up to recognize the five pairs of eyes trained in on him. 

“I didn’t mean to.” Fjord shook his head, before anyone could get a word in. “I was reflecting on everything, and it slipped. I didn’t-”

“We’re not the ones you need to explain yourself to, idiot.” Beau piped up next to him.

“Talk to Caleb. Not us.” Yasha nodded.

Caduceus hunched forward, seemingly having processed the situation. “Give yourself a chance to collect yourself. But talk to him. Don’t let this fester. Don’t let him fester.”

Fjord nodded and took another bite of the stew.

With a grimace, he added some salt before his next spoonful.

 

Fjord took a quick sweep around the area as he exited the tavern, and relaxed when he wasn’t able to find either of the Cerberus mages.

Had Caleb not thought about them when he all-but-rushed outside?

Fjord took a breath, now wasn’t the time to think about his fuck-up. He had to find Caleb.

Thankfully, the mage wasn’t too far, hunched with his back against the side of the tavern. Fjord recognized the familiar auburn blend, and grimaced at the hands harshly balled up within the mop of hair. His eyes were glossed over, staring at nothing in front of him. 

“Caleb…” Fjord found himself calling out weakly. The man in question lifted the chin off of his knees and spared a glance in Fjord's direction.

“I'm fine, Fjord.” Caleb replied as he stood up, looking in Fjord's direction without looking at him. Fjord ignored the sinking feeling in his stomach as he took in the faraway look in Caleb's eyes.

“Caleb, you're not fine. Alright? You're not and it's my fault. I didn't mean to call you what I did, I just-”

“Fjord, you're being dramatic.” Caleb shook his head. 

“I was just, ya’ know, thinking about all of it. I know I’m fuckin’ forgetful at times, and I know how important all of this stuff is and I didn’t want to forget any of it. So I was thinking about Nott’s past and then your past and then your name and then suddenly you were passing me the salt and-”

“Fjord.” Fjord glanced up at Caleb at that moment, and at that moment he felt himself take a breath. How long had he been talking? “You are rambling. What is going on?”

“What… do you mean?” Fjord asked, trying to find a way to discreetly look anywhere but at Caleb’s piercing gaze.

“I mean that there is something else on your mind. Beyond just calling me by my birth name.”

Fjord's mind snapped to the name under his bracer and he felt his face flush.

“What? No. I-it's nothing.” Fjord shook his head. “I was just concerned, is all.” Silence passed between the two, and Fjord could slowly feel himself able to breathe again. “I just… I wanted to apologize. It's not safe for us to be out and about, with those mages around.”

Hesitantly, Fjord reached out his hand, the scarred palm facing out towards Caleb. “We cool?”

Caleb looked at the palm, then Fjord, and exhaled a breathy laugh as he entwined his hand with Fjord's in the handshake. “Of course.”

 

~

 

A voice that wasn't his own but belonged to him all the same thundered in his head.

_ “Survive.” _

He grit his teeth, risking a second to wipe the blood dripping in front of his eyes. 

_ “Endure.” _

Fjord narrowly dodged the fists of the golem as they slammed down above him. Dust bellowed from the impact. Instincts forced his eyes closed for a moment.

The following blow to his chest launched him into the air.

He didn't remember hitting the ground. He doesn't remember his eyes closing. He doesn't- he can't-

“Fjord!”

How could he not recognize that specific pronunciation of his name?

He feels rather than hears the footsteps charging towards. He thinks to move his arm, extend it towards Caleb in any way.

It's when he realizes that he can't really feel whether his arm is moving or not that his current state sinks in. 

A grunt next to him. Is he being lifted? Something presses against his lips.

The liquid runs down his throat, and in that moment, his heart stills. 

He's still. 

The world stills.

His eyes flare open as he breathes in the air, coughing and vigorously shaking his head as he wipes the blood out of his eyes. 

“Fjord. Fjord! Easy,  _ ja _ ? Breathe. Breathe.”

Mutely, Fjord's eyes catches Caleb's. He sees the worry laced in those sea-blue irises, hears the  _ thump-thump-thump  _ of the heartbeat next to his ear, feels the adrenaline pouring off of Caleb's body like waves.

In one moment, Fjord is in Caleb's arms, tired, wounded. Every breath broken by the cacophony of the fighting around them. 

Then, Fjord is aware. And he finds himself moving without reason until his lips meet Caleb's.

Caleb doesn't seem to react. He doesn't move with nor against the kiss. When Fjord pulls back, he sees Caleb's eyes widened in shock.

“Sorry. Uh, I-”

“Don't be.” Caleb interrupts with a chuckle and a growing smile.

Gods above Fjord would kiss this man a thousand times to see that smile again.

The moment is broken by a loud crashing sound, Nott's shrill “Shit!” echoing within the cavern. 

Caleb springs up, broken of the trance and alert as an ember flares into his hand. “Can you stand?” he asks, peering down at Fjord and seeming to move in a way that places himself in between Fjord's body and the golems.

“Course.” Fjord replies with a grunt. When his eyes meet Caleb's hand, extended towards him, he can't stop the grin that forms. He takes Caleb's hand in his as he stands. 

He tries not to linger on how much it hurts to loosen their hands apart when he summons the falchion.

“Be careful,  _ ja _ ?”

“I'll be fine.” Fjord nods with a smile. “I have you watching out for me, after all.”

It's not until after the fight completely ends that Fjord has another chance to breathe. It isn’t until the part regroups to assess everyone’s condition that Fjord realizes just how tired he is. He plops onto the ground, letting his back fall to rest against the cavern wall as he does what he can to control his breathing, to allow his body to lower the fight or flight adrenaline.

From nearby, he heard Jester call out, “Fjord? You okay?” To which his only response was a nod and a thumbs up.

He probably should’ve been more concerned about the clearly still open cuts that ran along his forehead, or the caved in feeling within his ribcage, covered by a bruise on his chest that looked a sickly purple.

He probably should’ve been more concerned. But he was so tired.

“Fjord?” A voice next to him whispered.

He opened his eyes (when did he close them?) to see Caleb looking back, those eyes once more filled with the same worry that laced his face during the fight.

Oh. He was worried about Fjord, wasn’t he?

“Hey,” Fjord replied. He tried to flash his best charming smile, but he found himself too tired to even pull that off, so he settled for a nod. “You okay?”

Caleb looked at him incredulously. “Am  _ I  _ okay? Fjord, you-” Caleb bit his bottom lip before slowly shaking his head. “You need someone to patch you up, Fjord.”

“I need a moment to catch my breath, that’s all.” And this time he did manage to produce an actual smile alongside his comment. “I’m fine, really.”

“Fine, if you’re going to be that insistent.” Caleb sat down next to him, pulling out a book as he did so. “But someone should keep an eye on you.”

Fjord wasn’t opposed to that prospect so long as Caleb was the one doing it.

They sat in silence for a while. Caleb conjured one of his light orbs to better read while the rest of the nein set up what little gear they had to retire for the night. 

It gave Fjord a better view of the man, so he certainly wasn’t going to complain.

_ “My name was Bren Aldric Ermendrud.” _

“Hey, Caleb?” Fjord heard himself ask before he realized what he was doing. Caleb gave a soft “hm?” in reply, glancing up from his book.

Shit. 

“Can I show you something?”

Caleb stared at him. He closed the book, before turning slightly more in Fjord’s direction. The entire time Fjord just took in the raised eyebrows and the way Caleb’s mouth kept half-opening and closing, as if unable to figure out the words to reply with.

“Of course.” He seemed to settle on.

Fjord nodded, and moved to remove the bracer that covered his left arm.

“Fjord, what-”

Instead of letting Caleb finish, Fjord turned his bare forearm towards Caleb to let him sink in the name that his eyes were met with.

“I never… never took much stock in the name.” Fjord started. “A name is a name. Didn’t think too much of it. Never stopped it from… letting me fall for you.”

“Fjord.”

“But then, you told us your name was Bren and I know that’s probably the last name you want to hear come out of my mouth right now but I just can’t stop thinking about it, Cay.” Fjord turned to Caleb, and realized he couldn’t completely make out his expression. Fjord scrubbed a hand over his eyes, taking a moment to pause.

This was pathetic. He should’ve planned this out, he should’ve considered Caleb’s feelings more before just springing this on him, he should’ve-

He felt Caleb’s hand cover his cheek, and he looked up just in time to see Caleb’s lips close in on top of his.

It was quick and chaste, but that kiss settled every racing thought in Fjord’s mind.

“I became convinced,” Fjord continued as he rested his forehead against Caleb’s. “That you were the one. If you’re… willing. If you’re okay with it, I’d very much like-”

“I’d like that too.” Caleb shook his head gently, and Fjord relished in the contact. “I… I thought Trent ripping the name off of my arm was only fitting. I thought it was the fate I deserved, to be alone.” Fjord’s chest tightened at the chuckle Caleb gave, his eyes glistening with newly forming tears. “But to have you by my side? Nothing would make me happier, Fjord.”

“I’ll be honest, Caleb. I have no mighty idea what I’m doing when it comes to this, so-”

“It’s been… a while for me. Do not worry about that.” Caleb moved himself off of Fjord, and when Fjord looked up his eyes met Caleb’s once more, locked in mutual understanding.

“We’ll make it work,  _ ja _ ?”

Fjord couldn’t stop the laugh at that, and he deserved the jovial slap he received. Leaning in, they kissed once more, and Fjord let himself ease into the feeling of being able to love this man with every fiber of his being. He smiled as the kiss ended, and leaned his forehead back against Caleb’s with a sigh.

“Yeah. We’ll make it work.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you all enjoyed! As always, any kudos, comments, etc. are greatly appreciated!


End file.
